The sky is falling and you've finally come to realize that the positions you've held within the intellectual labor-based economy aren't going to save you in the Apocalypse. Good. That's step one. I'm here to help with step two: your resume.
Climate change will eventually force us to migrate (yes, even you, young intergenerationally middle class one) - away from rising waters, sinking land, unbearably hot temperatures and disease, unbearably cold temperatures and uncultivatable soil, droughts and fires, rains and mudslides. And if you're not among the wealthiest of the wealthy, you better be able to convince strangers (and friends) of your value real, real quick. Like, in a Sentinelese second. No one will care about the sculpture you exhibited in the Whitney, your Op-Ed in the Times, your great uncle's leadership in the Civil Rights movement, how many Bible studies you conducted, your self-published book of "poems," or how much of your life you spent being the token Black (*ahem* Jessica and Phoebe).
I know, these are hard truths. They told us that being allowed to eat, pray, love next to whites had guaranteed our future. That's what all this Black business was about, right? And I mean, sure, we had a cute 40-year run. A few of us made a couple coins that we mostly spent on cosas that only quickened our demise, covering ourselves with the value we were denied in spite of (or perhaps because of) the 13th Amendment. One of y'all niggas knocked up a white bitch who started #mixedbaby. And we're def better off than most black people elsewhere (except for the fact that they still kill and grow their own food, build fires, regularly walk long distances, etc.; but they didn't get to study abroad in Argentina sophomore year!).
Will memories of driving the gas-guzzling-military-vehicle-turned-luxury-SUV guide you to potable water?
I ask without judgement. No point in judging climate change or our role in it as a "bad" thing. It's just what is. Like PMS. Or people who put sugar in grits. We can't wish it away.
Where were you when [you found out approximation to wealth and whiteness was not a translatable skill]?
You'll go through the five stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. I’d guess you’re currently vacillating between two and three. Better now than in 15 years when things are reeeeeally bad (if we even have that long). I'm here for you.
From Monday, December 3rd - Friday, December 7th, I'm offering free consultations in person and online via Zoom to review your bug out bag resume. Together, we will comb through your personal narrative to identify a page-full of experiences and skills that might keep you from being murdered on an interstate or left to wander alone on the wrong side of a fortified wall. We will also identify areas of interest that could be cultivated into survival skills and resources in your area that'll assist you in doing so. A limited number of appointments are available on a first come first serve basis. Though I'm especially interested in helping those most vulnerable, bug out bag resume review sessions are open to people of all identities.
Please fill out this questionnaire to get on the schedule.
Excuse any errors, this was written on my phone as one of my skills is being a toddler body pillow. Jk. That’s not a skill.